First published June 29, 2018, at Aphotic Realm: http://aphoticrealm.com/immodest-proposals/

“Good evening. I am Aiden, your seduction assistant. I will help you reach the full heights of your romantic potential. By aggregating social media, online posts, and any other publicly available data, I can create a model of your Intended. When the model is complete, simply tell me—” Aiden was silenced, midsentence.
“Jesus, I hate it when they hit the skip button,” Aiden said.